i actually made it another day

so its my second day as a blogger, but it feels like today has been an eternity!

well anyway today i did a lot of thinking, and usually when you do a lot of thinking it gets you into trouble, and well today didn't really get me into any trouble, really just more of a depressed mode. i thought about how things change and how hard it is to deal with them sometimes, how hard it is to accept change, no matter how big or how small. but the changes i thought about today were pretty much all big ones. because its become easy for me to realize that nothing in my life is the same anymore.

-i have graduated high school

-i have had friends move away

-i have made new friends

-i moved out of my house

-i have learned to pay for everything

-i have started college

-my parents have gotten a divorce

-me and my boyfriend broke up

-my dad moved away

-and i have been forced to get used to all of this in an extremely short period of time*

and as I'm sure anyone would agree, change is not fun. there are so many things about my old life that i miss.

-i miss waking up to have both my parents there to send me off to school

-i miss my bed 

-i miss my cheetah carpet

-i miss having a title

-i miss having a family that actually functions correctly

-i miss pom

-i miss living in the same home with my brother

-i miss summer

-i miss baseball games

-I MISS KANAKUK COLORADO WITH MY ENTIRE HEART!!!!!**

-i miss having a home and not having to worry about things such as how to pay for groceries

-i miss my solitude

-i miss my backyard

-i miss things that have never even happened

- i miss getting to start my days off in Colorado with a bunch of smiling faces and happy hearts

-i miss getting to have my daily car time with Gabby

as you can tell i basically miss everything. and im ready for one big change to come along and make me happy. but i have a feeling its gonna be a while before that one comes along, cause only so many changes can happen at once.

im ready to move on with my life. im ready to get out of this town and get out of this state. im ready to be surrounded by new things and thinkers. im ready to meet people who are different than me and want different things out of life than me, but who can still respect the way i see things. im ready to go out there and change the world.