alot of things will be different about this thanksgiving, and that means nothing will be the same..
tonight is the night before thanksgiving, and for years it has been known as "pie night" every year me my mom and her sister Valerie comes down to my moms house to make the pies before the big day. we get together and make pies and its been quite the tradition. we would laugh and make jokes and just enjoy eachothers company. but this year tonight has been different. my aunt val passed away a little over a month ago and pie night is nowhere near the same. its me my mom my moms best friend (aunt) cindy and my actual aunt deanna but it feels extremely lonely. that emptiness is here. tonight was different, instead of laughing we had crying and making pies just doesnt feel the same. everyone has different jobs this year and the whole thing is all messed up. but we are somehow getting through, our thoughts are with our aunt and we know she is here with us this year if even only in spirit. and the whole thing is thrown off.
and on the other hand this will be the first year to spend thanksgiving without my dad. my parents are in the middle of a divorce and he has moved out. im a little weirded out and it just feels a little strange. i keep thinking who is gonna sit at the head of our table this year? and who will say the prayer, whos lap will i sit on to eat pie and talk about how crazy everyone is and who will i nap with on the couch while watching football. its not gonna be easy tomorrow. its gonna be a hard day. im gonna be lonely without my dad, he is like my other half we always were the best to get along and i miss him so much when he isnt here, this house is no home without him. i hate the thought of him being in his appartment tomorrow all by himself on thanksgiving day. i cant stand to think of that, no one deserves to be alone on thanksgiving, especially a father who has children who love him. for the first time ever i wish thanksgiving was over before it even started.
happy thanksgiving,
