dream

last night i had a dream that i was at kamp. i was enjoying the mountains, sitting on the beloved kamp dock that everyone loves. it was just another day on the dock, listening to my friends play the guitar and simply enjoying the great outdoors. enjoying great people and sunshine, with nothing but the simple lord making the day great. but when i woke up this morning to find out that i wasnt at all at kamp it kinda ruined my morning. i actually cried. i just missed everything about it. i missed the fact thatit was in colorado, i missed the sky, i missed the people and there happy faces and i even miss waking up early and making it to flag just barely on time. kamp was always the best place on earth the place to make new friends who love you just the way you are. God is everywhere you look in a place like colorado. there is no greater place on earth than kanakuk colorado (KIVU!!!!). i cant even put it into words what it means to me. it will always be my special place. a place with my favorite memories and my favorite friends. because when you find a place where your heart is whole, it will always be your favorite place.  and my heart will always be there, because that is where i am always my happiest. even when my world away from kamp may crumble, being at kamp with my true friends arms around me telling me God is there, nothing gets better than that. to all of you who have been to kamp with me and grown in the lord with me, thank you! thank you for supporting me in this walk with christ and praying for me through the rough times we all have! and to those of you who have grown truely special to me(you know who you are) thank you immensely for not giving up on me! i love you all!

my cabin this year! they truely watched me GROW in the two weeks we were together!  love you girls!

NELL! you have a place in my heart forever! always always will i miss our nightly talks before falling asleep!

austin! i miss you like crazy man! just imagine 6 years! and we can start to change the world together!

and mark! my favorite buddy from kamp! i have been throwing up the peace sign for you alot lately! my heart misses you!

i actually made it another day

so its my second day as a blogger, but it feels like today has been an eternity!

well anyway today i did a lot of thinking, and usually when you do a lot of thinking it gets you into trouble, and well today didn't really get me into any trouble, really just more of a depressed mode. i thought about how things change and how hard it is to deal with them sometimes, how hard it is to accept change, no matter how big or how small. but the changes i thought about today were pretty much all big ones. because its become easy for me to realize that nothing in my life is the same anymore.

-i have graduated high school

-i have had friends move away

-i have made new friends

-i moved out of my house

-i have learned to pay for everything

-i have started college

-my parents have gotten a divorce

-me and my boyfriend broke up

-my dad moved away

-and i have been forced to get used to all of this in an extremely short period of time*

and as I'm sure anyone would agree, change is not fun. there are so many things about my old life that i miss.

-i miss waking up to have both my parents there to send me off to school

-i miss my bed 

-i miss my cheetah carpet

-i miss having a title

-i miss having a family that actually functions correctly

-i miss pom

-i miss living in the same home with my brother

-i miss summer

-i miss baseball games

-I MISS KANAKUK COLORADO WITH MY ENTIRE HEART!!!!!**

-i miss having a home and not having to worry about things such as how to pay for groceries

-i miss my solitude

-i miss my backyard

-i miss things that have never even happened

- i miss getting to start my days off in Colorado with a bunch of smiling faces and happy hearts

-i miss getting to have my daily car time with Gabby

as you can tell i basically miss everything. and im ready for one big change to come along and make me happy. but i have a feeling its gonna be a while before that one comes along, cause only so many changes can happen at once.

im ready to move on with my life. im ready to get out of this town and get out of this state. im ready to be surrounded by new things and thinkers. im ready to meet people who are different than me and want different things out of life than me, but who can still respect the way i see things. im ready to go out there and change the world.

first and possible the last

um. so i have never been a blogger before, i have actually dissed blogging for a really long time and kinda cant believe i have one. but this is what hours of homework will do to you i suppose. but i kinda just wanted to do it to keep track of my life, cause thats hard for me to do now, so i feel like this will give me a chance to just slow down and realize how great actually is.

so ills tart off with some easy stuff.

its a tuesday in nompton america! not one of the funnest places in the world, bu it where im at right now.so i get to make it what i want.

i have a huge test im supposed to be studying for but instead im becoming a new blogger.

anyway i dont hae much else to say. i guess i still need to look around and get used to this whole blogging thing...awesome